These are a few things to help those well-meaning or inquisitive or trying-to-help-to-heal-people out there. The following points may help you all. In future when talking to divorcees or twice or thrice-married people, please carry a print out of this.
My kids were always viewed with suspicion whether they were gonna do drugs or drink or run with the wrong crowd or hang out at some street corner. Why? They came from a broken home. Broken home = broken kids. I haven't defined this, society has, for years.
If my kids were half an hour late or fared below average in a paper, it was put down to "trauma from divorce" and I took home the award for "Bad Mother of the Year". Oh cos kids from undivorced homes all stand first, eat their veggies and are home before curfew and are in bed before the boogey man hits the streets.
If these divorced kids have transitioned in style and wear clothes of the current trend, short dresses or tiny shorts or a crew cut then it's put down to rebellion but the kids from normal homes are just fashionable. (From now on, am going to refer to the two as divorced kids and normal kids, I know you are wise enough to distinguish between the two).
If my kids go on to land a great job, it's greeted by "I hope he sticks to it and does not mess it up". A normal kid, well he's gonna become the next CEO of the company or maybe president of the country. If a divorced child is silent in polite company or socially then he's depressed or has withdrawn and needs counselling: a normal child is possibly trying to revise the Pythagoras theorem.
A divorced girl if she has a few relationships then she's either looking for a father figure or just a plain slut and a normal girl "Oh my Lordy, she's so popular". Oh yes the mother of all is "they too may get divorced" since that's what they've grown up with and will have relationship issues, like divorce is a disease you contract from your parents! And yes, even after 6 or 7 or 8 years you will be asked socially "so any news of your ex-husband? Is he in touch with your children?" Seriously!!!! If I wished to be in touch with him I wouldn't have divorced him.
Why is bad behaviour met with excuses. Sorry, I raised my kids to respect everybody and speak with kindness so what's the excuse for rude, bratty, undiscliped kids from undivorced homes???
Today am standing up for kids who come from divorced families. Don't look upon them with suspicion, trepidation or stare at them. We parents don't constantly need validation on how well we've raised them, and they don't need validation on how well they've turned out. We don't judge you normal people. The kids are only divorced, they haven't grown a tail!
Monday, November 16, 2015
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Coffee
I am excited about going to sleep so I can wake up to that perfect brew. I can smell it. Shut your eyes and smell the coffee with me....Now you may continue reading. I need my quiet while I follow my morning ritual of spooning my dark coffee and just a table spoon of milk. Exceed that spoon of milk and I am visibly upset. I should be able to see the angry shade of wet earth on a rainy day in my mug and smell the beans.
Am not sure if am partial to any particular brand of coffee, it should just be a dark angry brown. Hate the flavoured vanillas n berries n strawberries. Why deconstruct a perfect creation. Hate the typical coffee available at Indian roadside spots, canteens and in offices. It's over-boiled sweet milk with coffee flavouring : positively nauseating. The coffee culture does not really exist in India except for the south; the filter Kaapi decoction or the typical chickory-enhanced concoction at the roadside carts.
I am not a fan of an Espresso, it's too bitter for me. I like them dark not black. Now that was not meant to be racist. Putting a disclaimer as in this age of being politically correct... to get back to the perfect dark I tasted - it was on my flight on Thai Airways from Bangkok to Hat Yai near the Malaysian border. It was nirvana when I had the first sip of coffee. I had to sip again to be sure and third time for the gastronomic orgasm. Yes coffee does that to me. I called the sirhostess and asked if she could tell what brand of coffee it was. Initially she seemed a bit worried thinking I was going to complain about poor service but I had to assure her that I wasn't; when convinced, she only smiled but didn't say anything. She either didn't understand or maybe it's a national carrier secret "do not reveal how to pleasure our customers with coffee".
A brief period in my life I had to give up coffee for 15 days. The first thing I requested on my return was not a bath or a hairwash. It was the perfect brew of dark coffee. The first sip brought a flood of tears, the second sip a prayer and the third was me, one with my coffee. I am ok about drinking a cappucino if nothing else is available, though I tend to stop at a sip or two and push the cup away. An expensive waste. I think it's for the pseudos. When at a restaurant I always order my coffee black, milk and sugar on the side. I like building it myself. There's a certain pleasure in giving birth to each cup rather than just a premixed. Oh and the coffee sachets, they should absolutely be banned!!!
Am not sure if am partial to any particular brand of coffee, it should just be a dark angry brown. Hate the flavoured vanillas n berries n strawberries. Why deconstruct a perfect creation. Hate the typical coffee available at Indian roadside spots, canteens and in offices. It's over-boiled sweet milk with coffee flavouring : positively nauseating. The coffee culture does not really exist in India except for the south; the filter Kaapi decoction or the typical chickory-enhanced concoction at the roadside carts.
I am not a fan of an Espresso, it's too bitter for me. I like them dark not black. Now that was not meant to be racist. Putting a disclaimer as in this age of being politically correct... to get back to the perfect dark I tasted - it was on my flight on Thai Airways from Bangkok to Hat Yai near the Malaysian border. It was nirvana when I had the first sip of coffee. I had to sip again to be sure and third time for the gastronomic orgasm. Yes coffee does that to me. I called the sirhostess and asked if she could tell what brand of coffee it was. Initially she seemed a bit worried thinking I was going to complain about poor service but I had to assure her that I wasn't; when convinced, she only smiled but didn't say anything. She either didn't understand or maybe it's a national carrier secret "do not reveal how to pleasure our customers with coffee".
A brief period in my life I had to give up coffee for 15 days. The first thing I requested on my return was not a bath or a hairwash. It was the perfect brew of dark coffee. The first sip brought a flood of tears, the second sip a prayer and the third was me, one with my coffee. I am ok about drinking a cappucino if nothing else is available, though I tend to stop at a sip or two and push the cup away. An expensive waste. I think it's for the pseudos. When at a restaurant I always order my coffee black, milk and sugar on the side. I like building it myself. There's a certain pleasure in giving birth to each cup rather than just a premixed. Oh and the coffee sachets, they should absolutely be banned!!!
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