I had a conversation with a friend. She was having trouble with her man. Hearing her pour her troubles into the coffee we had ordered I realized the perils of being a girlfriend are more or less that of a wife except the bills, nappy changing, boredom, EMI. Why bother then, is what I ask? Why not stay the girlfriend? The fear of “what if he does not pop the question”.
Yet, we pursue these defined "safe" relationships because we live in a society that frowns upon anything other than. Who makes these rules and casts aspersions. Trust me, the very ones who have many a skeleton spilling out of their spouse's closet. So we live according to the mores spelt out. Step out of the boundaries and one is labeled. Fear makes us seek refuge in “definitions”.
I have spent many a boring evening questioning the (never-to-be-spoken-in-polite company) word “mistress".
What does one get being a girlfriend, partner, soul mate. All different words for for the same “taken for granted, irritating, wish you were dead”. Yes, these are the familiar lines thrown during a fight. One never hears these during the courtship days, fights are controlled and contained with love and blooming red roses. Weeks and months into the relationship, the smiles are replaced by irritation at the sight of the person, the excuse is either “PMS” for the woman, or “I’m having a tough day at work” for the man. I’ve also come to the conclusion men are our PMS and they too suffer from PMS. Otherwise how does one explain them being irritated throughout. Basically it should be termed as Perennial Male Syndrome. That would be another chapter. Oh, we can go on about our men.
Coming back to the “mistress”. Whats wrong with being a man’s mistress?
One fulfills the same obligations, yes it becomes an obligation when you are a wife, out of fear that he may stray and since you are juggling many a chore. That’s the reason for the frequent bouts of headaches we suffer from. The mistress like the wife or girlfriend, is with one man. Though the girlfriend has greater options of playing the field or leaving him if it does not survive the test of time. Yet, the girlfriend will bind herself by trying to make it work, the forever optimist. The wife cannot leave as she is bound by law and children. The mistress is bound by money. The key? Find a Rich Daddy.
You turn cartwheels in bed, age permitting for both, or you’ll have a dead daddy on your hand and have to shop for a new one soon. It’s easier to turn cartwheels when you have to stare at the ceiling and think of the next big rock that may adorn your finger.
The mistress is always well dressed when he visits her. He gets to see her in the “one dreams of women only in” lace lingerie. The wife is between nappies, or juggling kids and a career or running the home, so he sees her in everyday boring attire. She does not have time to change out of her everyday lingerie, no the right word would be "undies" as lingerie is so much more sexy, something we women save for that special night which never happens because shhhh… the kids may wake up!
I doubt the other woman's hair is ever out of place. Naturally, while the wife is packing lunch, she’s getting a wash and her nails done!
Do they ever fight? Am sure over the stray chipped nail polish or strand of hair that covered her left breast during the act or her increasing shopping bill which she but needs to pout over and everything is alright. Does he ever fight with his wife? Of course about how she never listens - not that he talks to her anymore - how she doesn’t dress up anymore - as she is so busy looking after his brood - which she gets no credit for and balancing the home and maybe work too and how she is crabbity all the time since she is left to pick up after everybody.
The wife is a case of lust being translated into love then marriage and then all downhill thereafter. The girlfriend is a case of lust being translated into relationship which ends up getting mired in fights and tears. Mistress is a case of absolute lust each time. Isn't that what sex is about.
They say a mistress’s life is lonely, well so is a wife’s. While she waits for him till the wee hours unaware of his whereabouts, at least the mistress knows where he is headed once he steps off her porch.
I know I have convinced myself about a mistress having it a lot easier.....!
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